Transform with the Power of Forgiveness
Jul 28, 2024Hi Stagers!
Let’s talk about a word that’s both messy and magical: forgiveness.
→ To radically let go of the past
→ To embrace something more
Imagine forgiveness as a cloak we carry, where each hurt and grievance is a patch added over time.
→ When we forgive, the cloak gets lighter
→ The patches fall away
→ When we don’t, the cloak gets heavier
→ The patches pile up
→ Until making or breaking us
Literally and figuratively… Individually and collectively…
Because while forgiveness is hard, unforgiveness is harder.
The most liberating thing I’ve ever done was to forgive. In doing so, I lightened my cloak and discovered the beauty of walking forward unencumbered. Finding myself free.
→ To forge new pathways
→ To give both selflessly and selfishly
→ Because in giving, I received
→ So as not to drown in carrying
A Powerful Example: Nelson Mandela
To illustrate the power of forgiveness:
Consider Nelson Mandela, who spent 27.5 years in prison (from 46 to 71). Despite the harsh conditions and isolation, he chose forgiveness over bitterness, focusing on hope and reconciliation rather than resentment.
Why? Why did he forgive?
→ when you can’t get back the time
→ the years are just gone
→ and it doesn't seem possible
→ much less, desirable
→ especially, when the pain is palpable
Truly, forgiveness is a process. Oftentimes, one that doesn't seem possible. But as Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” And that's how forgiveness is.
It benefits both the forgiver and the forgiven. Selfishly, we should want it. But it's hard to want something that benefits those who've hurt us. Yet when we fail to forgive, resentment builds.
Mandela understood resentment as the real danger, saying, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Resentment injures whoever drinks of it.
He knew that forgiveness was not only essential for healing and progress, but also peace remarking, “Courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.”
Why? Why didn't he fear forgiving?
→ because forgiveness frees the heart
→ it lightens the emotional burden
→ it opens doors to peace and understanding
→ it allows for personal and collective healing
→ it transforms relationships and societies
Forgiveness fuels resilience, providing a floor to our fall. Reminding it's not how far we fall but how high we bounce. W/o forgiveness, our fall continues. Beyond which 'here be dragons.'
Mandela's life exemplifies that through forgiveness, we can overcome even the most profound challenges and create a world filled with hope and possibility.
His ability to forgive not only sustained him during those difficult years but also paved the way for his leadership in dismantling apartheid and transforming South Africa.
His story is a powerful reminder of how forgiveness can change the course of our lives and the world around us. He could have given up. But he didn’t. He won with forgiveness.
Because when we choose forgiveness:
→ We release the burdens of past hurts and grievances
→ We open ourselves to healing and peace
But mostly, we open ourselves up to 'something more' than before, to live better than before. B/c forgiveness ushers change. And not just change for the sake of change. But change for the sake of achieving something more. Because that's what we're all really after: something more.
Forgiveness empowers us to let go of the 'shore' to swim for that 'something more,' even when we can't see it beyond the horizon. B/c it's impossible to swim for 'something more' while continuing to hold onto the 'shore' and taking a beating from the waves.
LIFE TIME
Childhood + Adolescence
1918 (Age 0): Nelson Mandela is born on July 18 in Mvezo, a small village in the Eastern Cape of South Africa, to Gadla Henry Mphakanyiswa (chief and counselor to the Thembu royal family) and Nosekeni Fanny (a member of the amaMpemvu clan). Raised in the Xhosa culture with strong influences from Thembu royal customs and traditions.
1925 (Age 7): Moves to the nearby village of Qunu following his father's demotion, where Mandela spends much of his childhood herding cattle and playing with other boys.
1930 (Age 12): His father dies of lung disease, and he is taken under the guardianship of Chief Jongintaba Dalindyebo, the acting regent of the Thembu people.
1934 (Age 16): Attends Clarkebury Boarding Institute to gain a Western-style education.
1937 (Age 19): Continues his education at Healdtown where he learns about the wider world and begins to question social injustices.
Young + Middle Adulthood
1939 (Age 21): Enrolls in the University of Fort Hare and begins to develop his political consciousness.
1940 (Age 22): Expelled for participating in a student protest against university policies.
1941 (Age 23): Escapes an arranged marriage by running away to Johannesburg, where he works as a night watchman and then as a law clerk while completing his degree.
1943 (Age 25): Completes his BA through the University of South Africa (UNISA) and begins studying law at the University of Witwatersrand, where he meets fellow activists.
1944 (Age 26): Joins the African National Congress (ANC) and co-founds the ANC Youth League, advocating for a more radical approach to ending apartheid. Marries Evelyn Ntoko Mase, a nurse, and starts a family: Thembekile "Thembi" Mandela (born 1945), Makaziwe Mandela (born 1947, died at 9 months), Makgatho Mandela (born 1950), and Makaziwe Mandela (born 1954).
1945 (Age 27): Becomes a father for the first time.
1947 (Age 29): Becomes a prominent leader in the ANC Youth League, pushing for more militant tactics against apartheid. His second child dies at 9 months.
1948 (Age 30): The National Party takes power in South Africa and begins constructing apartheid, a system of racial segregation.
1952 (Age 34): Organizes the Defiance Campaign against apartheid laws and opens the first black law firm in South Africa with Oliver Tambo.
1956 (Age 38): Arrested along with 155 other activists and charged with high treason, initiating the Treason Trial, which lasts until 1961.
1958 (Age 40): Divorces Evelyn and marries Winnie Madikizela, a social worker and fellow activist. The couple grew apart due to Mandela's political activism and their differing visions. They have two children: Zenani Mandela (born 1959) and Zindzi Mandela (born 1960).
1960 (Age 42): The Sharpeville Massacre occurs, with police firing on a demonstration, killing 69 people and wounding 181. The South African government subsequently bans black political groups/gatherings and arrests thousands. The ANC is banned, and its members go underground and begin planning direct attacks on the apartheid government.
1961 (Age 43): Helps form Umkhonto we Sizwe, the armed military wing of the ANC (African National Congress), in response to increasing state violence and repression. Becomes the first commander in chief of the guerilla army. Trains to fight. Obtains weapons for the group. Earns the nickname "The Black Pimpernel" for his ability to evade police while organizing protests. But never sees combat.
1962 (Age 44): Arrested and sentenced to five years in prison for leaving the country illegally and inciting workers to strike.
Late Adulthood + Senior Years
1963 (Age 45): The government raids a farm outside Johannesburg, where the ANC established its headquarters. They find documents describing the ANC's plan for guerilla warfare. The government subsequently charges Mandela and eight co-defendants with sabotage and conspiracy to overthrow the government. The Rivonia Trial ensures.
1964 (Age 46): Sentenced to life imprisonment with seven others in the Rivonia Trial, becoming a global symbol of resistance to apartheid. And spends the next 18 years at Robben Island Prison, seven miles off the coast of Cape Town.
1969 (Age 51): Thembekile "Thembi" Mandela, Mandela's oldest child, dies in a car accident at 24. Learns of his son's death while serving a life sentence on Robben Island Prison and is not allowed to attend the funeral.
1974 (Age 56): Begins writing his autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, with the assistance of fellow prisoners to smuggle portions of the manuscript out, as writing was heavily restricted.
1976 (Age 58): Thousands of students take to the streets in Soweto protesting Afrikaans as the language of instruction in black schools, setting off protests that leave 570 people dead.
1982 (Age 64): Transferred from Robben Island Prison to Pollsmoor Prison in the suburbs of Cape Town with four others. The government opens a discreet line of communication with the men, as Mandela continues to influence the anti-apartheid movement.
1985 (Age 67): Refuses an offer of conditional release that requires Mandela to renounce violence. Mandela refuses, saying the government must first dismantle apartheid. Begins secret meetings with the government that continue for years marked by secret excursions outside the prison to help him reconnect to the world.
1986 (Age 68): The government cracks down on dissent, declaring a nationwide state of emergency. The government grants itself sweeping powers to use force against protestors and to impose curfews and puts tight restrictions on the press. More than 1,000 people are arrested.
1988 (Age 70): Transfers to another prison 50 miles from Cape Town known as Victor Verster Prison Farm. Receives a tuberculosis diagnosis following admittance to Tygerberg Hospital.
1989 (Age 71): Meets informally with the South African president P.W. Botha. Hinting at release, the meeting serves as the first publicly acknowledged meeting between Mandela and a government official. That same year, the new president F.W. de Klerk pledges to phase out apartheid and white rule. To prove it, de Klerk frees eight prominent political prisoners, but Mandela is not among them.
1990 (Age 71):
→ De Klerk lifts the ban on the ANC along with several other political organizations. He also lifts many of the restrictions put in place during the nationwide state of emergency, promising Mandela will be released soon.
→ Mandela is subsequently released after 27.5 years of imprisonment; his release is a pivotal moment in South Africa's transition from apartheid to democracy. Upon his release, Mandela's speech was broadcast live worldwide, marking a significant moment in the fight against apartheid.
→ The ANC announces the immediate suspension of its guerilla campaign, which started in the 1960s against apartheid.
1991 (Age 73): Elected President of the ANC, leading negotiations to end apartheid and establish multiracial elections.
1992 (Age 74): Announces that he and his wife, Winnie, have agreed to permanently separate.
1993 (Age 75): Awarded jointly the Nobel Peace Prize with South African President F.W. de Klerk for their work in peacefully ending the apartheid regime and for laying the foundations for a new democratic South Africa.
1994 (Age 75): Votes for the first time. Elected as South Africa's first black president in the first fully representative democratic election, serving until 1999. Mandela's presidency focuses on reconciliation and nation-building. Publishes his autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom.
1995 (Age 77): Establishes the Nelson Mandela Children's Fund, to fight child poverty.
1996 (Age 78): Divorces Winnie Madikizela-Mandela. The couple split due to personal differences and strains caused by long periods of separation during Mandela's imprisonment, as well as Winnie's controversial political activities/actions.
1998 (Age 80): Marries Graça Machel (Age 52), the widow of Mozambican President Samora Machel, on his 80th birthday. Mandela is the only person to have been married to the first ladies of two different countries.
1999 (Age 81): Retires from the presidency and political activities to focus on charitable work in the areas of peace, education, and health. Establishes the Nelson Mandela Foundation.
2001 (Age 83): Receives a prostate cancer diagnosis.
2002 (Age 84): Receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the United States' highest civilian award, by US President George W. Bush.
2003 (Age 85): Lends his name to the 46664 AIDS awareness and fundraising campaign, based on his former prison number.
2005 (Age 86): Makgatho Mandela, Mandela’s second son, dies of an AIDS-Related Illness at the age of 54. Nelson Mandela publicly announces the cause of death to help combat the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS.
2010 (Age 92): Publishes his second book Conversations with Myself.
2013 (Age 95): Passes away at his home in Johannesburg on December 5 due to a respiratory infection. Remembered as a global icon of peace and reconciliation, his life continues to inspire millions worldwide. An official 10-day period of mourning is declared in South Africa.
***Note: some dates/ages may represent estimates as sources sometime conflict, and as this timeline is meant to provide a sense of his life - to win with wisdom in mining.
LIFE PACT
Mandela’s Influence Today:
Nelson Mandela’s influence extends beyond his lifetime, continuing to inspire. His life showcases how we can create positive change through forgiveness, unity, and compassion to overcome even the most profound challenges to make the world a better place for all.
Nothing in Mandela's life happened by happenstance. Mandela was a deep thinker who lived stagefully to achieve his dreams.
Although he couldn't control his circumstance, everything he did in life was staged to achieve his goals:
→ realizing equality and justice for all people in South Africa, regardless of race, and to dismantle the system of apartheid that enforced racial segregation and discrimination
→ creating a democratic and free society where all individuals could live together in harmony and with equal opportunities
It was a long and troublesome journey, but he was eventually able to achieve his goals and go beyond them by living stagefully.
Mandela’s journey is a testament to the power of forgiveness. By choosing a path of grace over bitterness, Mandela not only transformed his own life but also the fate of a nation.
He led South Africa with compassion and integrity as its first black president, guiding the country toward reconciliation and equality. His ability to forgive those who imprisoned him turned a story of suffering into one of triumph, inspiring millions around the globe.
Mandela’s legacy teaches us that true progress is made through unity and reconciliation. His ability to bring together a divided nation and foster a spirit of cooperation and understanding remains a powerful example of leadership.
Mandela’s Influence Tomorrow:
By choosing love over hate and unity over division, Mandela showed the world that peace is achievable through dialogue and empathy. His work reminds us that forgiveness is not just an individual act but a collective effort that can transform societies. And that forgiveness is more powerful than revenge, as it completely flips the script. He understood,
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.”
As we reflect on Mandela’s legacy, we are reminded of the enduring power of hope. His life teaches us that despite obstacles, change is possible when we work 'alone together' with determination and compassion, to achieve 'something more.'
Mandela’s story encourages us to keep striving to make the world a better place for all. Because he knew more work lay ahead noting, “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”
Let his words inspire us to continue climbing those hills, confident in our ability to make a meaningful difference. He concluded,
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”
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Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!
Wishing you and yours a lovely day.
Fondly,
Jen Forsman
Founder, Stagefully
Igniting Imagination to Stage Life with Purpose
#WinAtLife #NelsonMandela #Forgiveness #Resilience #Inspiration #Leadership #Hope #Unity #Stagefully #PositivityAndPausitivity #EmpathyInAction #ChangeMakers #Wisdom
Sources:
Mandela Moved to House at Prison Farm
Nelson Mandela's life and times - BBC News